Justin & Jess are a little over 14 months post BLA & seem to be dong pretty well. They added thyroid meds about three weeks ago. That seemed to make a big difference.
Today I noticed something about myself. Cushing’s, its aftermath & worrying about my kids’ health (physical & mental) is no longer uppermost in my mind all day every day. I don’t really know when this happened but it was a real revelation to me when I realized it. Those thoughts had been my constant companions for years now & it seems a little weird when I figured out how little I thought about it these days.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think my kids’ health more than the average person does. But sometimes now it is just to marvel that they are alive and doing pretty good. The last four or five years seem like a bad dream. While I know I will never forget how bad things really were it’s no longer the only thing I can concentrate on. YES!!YES!!YES!!
I’m not sure I ever thought this day would get here.
I have a weird after affect of all the medical drama. I really don’t like using the telephone much any more. Weird, huh? I put off phone calls as long as possible. Probably from all the appointments & phone consults I had over the years.
I have also found that I feel guilty for being in this good place. When I read on Facebook or the Cushing’s support board about other mothers who are struggling to get their kids diagnosed I hurt so bad for them. Then I feel guilty that my kids seem to be in a pretty good place. Survivor’s guilt?