Artist: Rob Thomas
Album: Cradlesong (2009)
Song: Her Diamonds

Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down
Man there's so many times
I don't know what I'm doin'
Like I don't know now

And by the light of the moon she rubs her eyes
Says it's funny how the night can make you blind
I can just imagine
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
But if she feels bad then I do too
So I let her be

And she says ooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
'Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's hard
To see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down
Way down

Well she sits down and stares into the distance
And it takes all night
And I know I could break her concentration
Oh, but it don't feel right

Till by the light of the moon she rubs her eyes
Sits down on the bed and starts to cry
And there's something less about her
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
So I sit down and I cry too
But don't let her see

And she says ooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
'Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's hard
To see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

She shuts out the night
And tries to close her eyes
If she can find daylight
Then she'll be all right
She'll be all right
Just not tonight

And she says ooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
But her diamonds bring me down
'Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's hard
To see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling

I can't take no more
Diamonds on the floor (no more, no more, no more)
Diamonds falling down
I can't take no more
Diamonds on the floor (no more, no more, no more)
Diamonds falling down
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh

 

When I first heard this song it really reminded me of our family situation with 3/4 of us having Cushing’s. And I seldom know what to do to help them. When he talks about her and the night it made me think of myself & Crohn’s. Except I preferred being sick during the night and hated for daylight to come. If I was sick during the day it meant I was missing my life. Being sick all night just meant I’d feel worse than usual the next day.

A couple of months ago I posted a phrase from this song on my blog. While I always thought of our family when I heard this song I didn’t really think that was what it was about. I was wrong. He wrote it about his wife who has Lupus.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1907710/rob_thomas_her_diamonds_new_anthem.html

Bill talked with Bernie (he runs the whole outfit here in Colby) and he said that Murfin wouldn’t stand in his way of collecting unemployment. He also gave him the numbers for about three of their rigs that operate somewhat close to Colby. So he’ll be calling them to see if they have any openings. Sometimes when you’re let go from the company they won’t hire you back in any capacity. That isn’t Bill’s case, thankfully. Best case scenario would be one of the rigs needing help on one of the towers. It would be nice if he could stay with Murfin, he’s been with them close to thirteen (?) years. I know how he was let go was wrong, but it was only Brian’s doing. And it does always seem that the oilfield is a law unto themselves. Although I’ve never quite figured that out.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I guess we’ll know the reason later.

Cold, rainy & dreary all day. Seems appropriate. Some times bad news is worse when the weather is nice and everyone else seems to be out having a good time.

I need to get back in the blogging mode. It’s been over two weeks since my last post.

Bill went back to work three weeks post op. He’s done pretty good once he figured out when to take his meds. He pretty much reversed the a.m. & p.m. doses since he works the night shift. He got a prescription for adderall from his pcp. It seems to help him. He has an easier time talking. I no longer feel like I want to pull the words out of his mouth.

While work has been hard on him he says he does actually feel better than he has in several years.

So life was getting back on track and all we had to do was figure out what Dr. F would need to clear him for a BLA.

The last couple of weeks, Bill has been staying away from home because the rig is over two hours from home. Saturday I’d just driven back into town after taking Dad to lunch when I got a call from Bill. I thought it was unusual because he usually doesn’t call in the middle of the day, on good days he’s asleep at that time. Other days he’s trying to sleep. The first thing he said was “I just got fired.”

I suppose that many people that get fired say it’s unjustified but this truly is. It’s so wrong on so many levels.

Here’s the background.

A few weeks before Bill left for surgery, most of the crew on his tower (shift) quit. A new driller (shift boss) and hands were hired. So he had only worked with this crew for a while but they did know of our medical issues. While he was gone “A” (because I don’t know the guys name) was brought on board to fill in. When Bill got back to work A was still there because “B” had ended up in jail so A was filling in for him.

It turns our that A used to work with Brian, the driller. And I guess Brian intended to keep it that way. When he called Bill he told him “Well, I have to let one of you go.” Huh? Didn’t Bill have a job and A was just a temp? Guess it doesn’t work that way. He just called him up in the middle of the day and said he wouldn’t need to come back.

Bill then calls Andy, the pusher (supervisor for all three shifts on the rig) to see if he knows exactly what’s going on. Andy said he’d gotten wind of this happening and was trying to reach Brian. He said he’d get back to Bill. I guess that Andy had been trying to reach Brian and tell him that this wasn’t going to happen but Brian never took his calls until after he’d called Bill and fired him. And since they all use cell phones I know Brian has caller ID.

He’s talked to a couple of guys that worked on the other towers and everyone is kind of upset with Brian. Yesterday Bill called Andy just so he’d know what the “official” reason was for being let go. Andy said that the original paperwork that Brian filled out said that Bill had resigned. Oh, that would be great to have that turned in, I don’t suppose there would be any hope of unemployment. Andy then said that they had settled on “your health.” Even that doesn’t set too well. I think that could also make it tough to collect unemployment from the company. Besides, he was working and keeping up, so how does his health figure into this. But I guess when they can’t tell the truth, which is that Brian wanted to work with his friend, they grasp.

I think we’re handling it pretty good but it has only been a couple of days. If I think about it too long, I get furious and would love to wring Brian’s neck. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. I don’t know where things go from here but I’m sure we’ll get through this. It just seems like one thing after another.

 

My niece, Shanda married Caleb this weekend. Fun day. So many photos, it’s hard to decide what to show.

 

First dance

   

   Shanda, Sue & Tanya

 

Jess and her little cousins do the dollar dance with Caleb.

 

Caleb & my dad

I had a strange & scary dream right before waking this morning.

I was driving out by my dad’s place & I think I was actually trying to get to his place. But you know, dreams are strange in that sometimes you aren’t quite sure what’s going on. I’m driving south on what we call the “west road” because it’s the road west of Dad’s house. Simple. Anyway, I’m getting closer to the turn for the farm but am having a hard time seeing it because my windshield is covered with something. I can only see out of a small section clear up in the left corner of the windshield. Somehow I could make myself sit high enough and crane my neck to the side and see through that one tiny spot. I’d been driving for several miles like this.

Even though I could barely see the road it seems like I was going a normal speed for a dirt road. I’m pretty sure Bill was in the passenger’s seat. Somehow I missed the turn to Dad’s and had to go another quarter of a mile before I could turn around. As soon as I turned around and made it back to Dad’s road and turned towards his house I woke up.

It doesn’t seem that scary as I write this but since dreams have a way of making things seems very real, it was a scary dream. When I woke up  I laid with my eyes closed for awhile thinking about it.

If I was into interpreting dreams I would say that I was in the driver’s seat & didn’t have a clue what I was doing because I couldn’t see where I was going. And it was darn scary. Sort of sounds like the last few years. And it’s ongoing. I really hate how dreams can seem so real.

Bill called me this morning and told me that he did take some hydro, just 10 mg. Said he was starting to feel kind of weird.

Tonight we went out to eat. It took a long time and towards the end Bill was getting sort of antsy and snappy. We got home and he was perfectly fine. Wonder about that.