I’ve been trying to tell myself over and over and over that everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately, we don’t see the reason right away.

It seems there is nothing easy about collecting unemployment. It’s been a little over two weeks since Bill lost his job. Last week he got a letter telling him that he would have a phone interview with someone from the unemployment office on Oct. 30 to determine if he is eligible for unemployment. That would be six weeks since he quit working. And of course no benefits until it has been determined that he is eligible for unemployment. So I’m guessing that by the time he gets any benefits it will be at least two months since the day he was let go. He got his final paycheck about a week and a half ago. So, I’m guessing it will be at least five weeks before there is any income besides mine. I’m pretty sure though that if we want to try and keep our insurance we’ll have to come up with a COBRA payment before we get any unemployment.

They really know how to get you when you’re already down. I wonder if maybe it wouldn’t seem quite so bad if things wouldn’t of just been starting to look up for us. While we know that Bill doesn’t have a cure from Cushing’s, he had been feeling better than he had in years. We had five surgeries down and probably just one to go. After all the years of medical uncertainty it seemed that we were close to the finish line. But maybe if things weren’t getting better it would of just been one more bad thing to add to the list.

If he’d lost his job as a result of Cushing’s I would feel differently. I don’t know exactly how I would feel but I don’t think I’d be so full of anger. If he’d been messing up at work, I could be mad at him. As it is I can only be mad at someone I’ve never met who was petty enough to fire Bill so that he could give his friend a job. I wonder what’s the “official” reason for terminating him.

I’m surprised sometimes at exactly how strong my anger is. And there is no one to take it out on.