Sunday, March 14, 2010

We're one week into Walk Kansas and I met my weekly goal. I think I would of done more but it was cold and WINDY. I'll try harder this week. I enjoy it once I get started. Seven more weeks to go. I hope by then I make it a habit and continue to walk most days. Small improvements.
The last few years I seem to have let go of everything that I ever once liked. I need to change that. In small increments I think. When it seems like you put your life on hold it's hard to just jump back in. Somehow I'd thought when everyone was healthy again (and not all are yet) life would just take up where it left off. But I find it's not that easy.
It seems that once Cushing's came into our lives everything else for me slowly dropped away. I don't even know how to describe it & I'm not sure I noticed it happening until it was all gone. There were days I thought that I couldn't wait for life to be "normal" again. I now find that "normal" no longer exists and I don't know what to do about it.
In some ways I feel a lot like I did for the first year after Mom died. And only just this minute did that occur to me. Maybe I'm grieving. There is a lot to grieve. No ones' life is what it used to be. And it never will be. We will go on from here and life will be good again it just won't be what we had envisioned.
Now that I'm out and walking I need to also start taking control of the house. Mainly the sewing room at the moment. In the last couple of months it seems to have acquired a lot of things from other rooms. Things that really didn't belong there but now I must find a place for them or I have no room to sew - literally.
I will start in small steps, take care of ten things each day. Just ten things, no matter how small, it will still be more than I am doing now. This has made me remember that one year I decided to save all my change from every purchase I made. I always paid with all bills so that I would get change back. I also got change when I wrote checks. For years I'd always rounded my check up to the next dollar and got back change. Then I had change for the kids and it was easier to subtract. I started putting that in a savings account so I wouldn't be tempted to use it. At the end of the year I had $600!!! That's a lot of money when you think it all came from change and was never missed.
Cleaning the sewing room will be the same way. Ten things at a time and one day it will be done.


Janet, said...

'Walk Kansas' sounds like a neat idea. I love to walk, but haven't did much walking lately. I don't like walking in cold weather. Good luck in getting your room under control.

Anonymous said...

dear mom, blog more. love your daughter.