Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I recently came across a letter Dad sent me shortly after Bill & I became engaged. It's a real treasure that I keep tucked away and sometimes forget I have. I truly think everyone on the brink of marriage needs a letter like this.
I'm going to copy parts of the letter. I will say beforehand that I do think there are some cases where it's not safe to stay with a spouse and then I completely agree with leaving.

You are about to commit
yourself to what I
believe is a lifetime commitment.

me there is no turning back the time. For
better or worse is certainly a
realistic phrase. That is exactly how it will
be and only a very strong
commitment to making it work will succeed.

Both of you will go through periods when
you begin to doubt if you can
continue to stay together. You must be very
strong at such times. You must and I
repeat you must be strong enough to
brush such thoughts aside and to talk about
the problems even when you don't
want to.

You may think that I am
trying to discourage
you. Not at all!

Just be willing to understand that this is the
way it will be.

When the time comes for you to
both look back
on your life together then you will understand what I am
about to tell you.

The rewards of
a life together are very real
and they are worth all the effort that it
takes to arrive at that point.

It is sort of like climbing a mountain. It
takes a lot of effort, once you have
arrived you can look back and the view is

God bless you both


My dad is a smart man. The letter also gives a little insight into my parent's marriage. They never fought in front of us kids. In fact one or both had to be seriously annoyed before we could even tell any difference in their mannerisms.
On raising children about the only advice I've heard my dad give is - "Never put your children in a position where they will lie to you."
As an aside, I wonder if I found my mother to be as annoying as I seem to be. Wish she was around to ask her how she handled it. I suspect alot like I do, she quit talking.

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