Thursday, July 16, 2009

Bill is home. He had been staying in Plainville for about a month. It was closer to the rig. Now the rig is closer to home so he is home again. In the time he was gone he was only home a couple of times and then just for a few hours. When he was home either he was sleeping or I was at work – or both.

After not seeing him for so long it’s somewhat astonishing to see what he looks like. When you see someone every day it’s easy to get used to how they look. Cushing’s is really doing a number on Bill. He looks old.  Although I do think his pain level has something to do with how he looks. The higher the pain level, the older he looks. After some good meds and some time for them to kick in, he doesn’t look quite as old.

The texture of his hair has changed a lot also. I used to envy him his hair. It was black and thick. It’s quite gray now and just has a weird texture to it.

I’m so glad his surgery is only a month away. Of course we neither one have real high hopes of remission but maybe some relief. He is in incredible pain and still works. I truly don’t know how he does it. Sheer willpower because he knows if he doesn’t keep working he will no longer have insurance and no hope of surgery. He’s really caught in a bad place. It makes me feel so bad for him. There really is nothing I can do to make him feel better. I wish there was.

To make it all worse, he hasn’t really had a day off in about a month. I know, a while back I was moaning because there wasn’t enough work which meant not enough money. Now he’s working steady and it’s about killing him.

We leave for MDA in Houston on August 11. I’m starting to count the days.

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