Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I found this song tonight on another blog.

As I read the words, I was instantly back to Justin’s jr/sr years of high school. He was in very bad shape and we had found no doctor to help us. He went through a suicidal phase, I believe in some people that is a part of Cushing’s. It’s not something I talk about much. I lived in fear for quite awhile never knowing if he would be alive the next day. I cried so many tears thinking of the torment he was going through and there was nothing I could do for him.

He’s My Son – Mark Schulz

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

Just because I found a song that reminds me of Justin in no way diminishes the pain I feel for Jess & Bill. Just haven’t found the song for that. I think there may have been more heartache with Justin because he was getting no help and he was sort of blazing the trail for our family.

2 comments:

Jennyr said...

Wow Judy, those lyrics bring tears to the eyes. They really apply to Holly at the moment as well. I'm so frightened one morning I'll go in to get her up for school, and she won't wake up.
Judy, you are an inspiration to me, I'm so sorry you've had to endure so much heartache because of this horrible disease.
Take care, I think you are amazing.
:)
Jenny.

Anonymous said...

That is such a pretty song, Jude! You are one strong lady to fight for your kids the way you have. God bless you and your sweet family.
love,
melly