Monday, July 20, 2009

Cushing’s is a b**ch. I’ve always thought that the mental part was at least as bad if not worse than the physical. Of course I’m looking at it from a different perspective than the patient. I just (?) have to live with someone who has Cushing’s.

This is a quote from a “cured” Cushie.

“My relationship with my hubby is way better. This disease does a good one on marriage - for anyone who thinks their spouse is the worst person ever, I'm sorry but you need to take a few deep breaths, grit your teeth and wait for cure before deciding on a may turn out that a lot of the blame is at your feet - not your partner's. It really distorts your view of other people so try not to jump to conclusions about someone with this cloud over your head.”

I really, really like that. With Bill I never know, is it him, is it the Cushing’s? Who is he? Do I know him? Did I ever know him? Which one of these “Bills” that talks to me is the real one? Does he know, does anyone know? Will the real Bill please stand up. Will I know you after surgery if you go into remission? Will we be able to have a regular conversation without some innocent remark setting you off?

And some days you wonder why I hardly talk anymore. If you ever get a cure/remission will I ever be able to make you understand what it’s like to live with this damn disease as my partner?

Since we started suspecting that Bill had Cushing’s, I’ve wondered about his sister. She had/has a lot of symptoms. And like Bill her blood pressure has been high for years, starting when she was really too young to have to worry about that.

Bill said when he talked to her the other night she told him she is getting more symptoms and is starting to feel a lot like Bill does. That must be miserable. She does have insurance now but you wonder what use it is as I doubt that she would have any better luck with her local doctors than we had with ours. I really don’t know if she could afford to travel to a specialist, but I suspect it would take a lot of saving to get there.

What a truly horrible disease Cushing’s is. And no one understands what it puts a person through.

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