Monday, August 4, 2008

Life seems like a rollercoaster these days. I can't keep track of my emotions. I cry too easily (but just for a bit), I get depressed and get nothing done but read - computer or books. I just want life to settle down.
Jess told me not too long ago that I needed a hobby. Well, I have hobbies, I just don't feel like doing them anymore. I do still do the $5 Quilt. I enjoy it and my theory is that by having to make that one block a month (so I get my next one free) it will keep me inspired to work on other quilting projects. For the moment that's not working so good! But someday I'll surprise myself and end up in the sewing room working on a project.
I haven't really seen Justin for a couple of days. I think he was going to wean again today. I sometimes wished he talked more, then I wouldn't have to guess what is going through his mind. I'd have more of an idea how his weans are really going. He's a bit of a mystery to me lately.
I think he's disappointed that he doesn't feel any better than he did before surgery. I know I am. I didn't expect miracles but was hoping for a little improvement by this point. I guess time will tell. He's about ready to go back to work. The one thing that worries me is his sleep pattern or lack thereof. Sometimes he stays awake for a couple of days and then he crashes for 15+ hours. I sometimes hope that this is "self imposed" but don't really think it is. I don't think most people could keep those kind of hours. Guess we'll see what happens when he starts back to work.


Robin said...

Judy, it took seven months for my body to adjust to the surgery and changes in hormones. I went through major depression, felt terrible at times and good at others, and just did flip-flops all the time. Sometimes I felt worse than I did before the surgery. But now, oh my, what a difference in my life. I cannot tell you the difference. Only when I look back do I realize how big it is. So, don't give up, don't quit hoping, and just be patient. Dr. F will tell you the same. He kept telling me that over and over.
He was right.


judycolby said...

Thanks, that gives me hope!